Happy Birithday to Andrea and Dancy, members of The Great Canadian Beavers mongol rally team!!!!

As always I wish for your happiness and a fullfilling life.

Though on an interesting note, last night I had a dream that Dancy killed the relative of a friend of mine. If I remember correctly, Andrea might have been her lawyer or maybe a consultant or moral support. Mabey she just had a limo. . . in either event everything had a cool futuristic wild west appearance!

No bionic gorilla though. . .

. . . . um right, so happy birthday to 1of3 (your Borg designations) 2of3 and also 3of3 (even though I don't actually know Doug and I'm sure he's never read this LJ) . For you here is Miku dancing:



Much cuter than that dancing bananna Andrea spent so much time trying to immitate :P

Oh and remember to keep Killer-Shot-Dancy away from firearms!

Okay so a while back, Andrea told me about the famous Mongol Rally, which is this sorta race accross europe to raise money for charity. Though mostly I think it just sounds like a lot of fun :P

Anyway, she and her sister Dancy turned a "half baked" idea into an actual plan and brought together a team of people to make the journey. Naming themselves The Great Canadian Beavers.

No, I'm not making that up. . . .

Take a look at their team website which is being managed wonderfully by Dancy. There you will find more information on who they are and just what it is they are doing. As well as the route they will be taking from beginning to end, as well as blog, team pictures and video interviews (they're pretty funny). Which I'm putting in this entry here:



Did she say Bionic Gorilla?

For some reason I can't get the embed code for Andrea's interview, but here is the link to it: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheCanadianBeavers1#


Most importantly, they are also accepting donations here. So if you've got anything to spare, please give. No donation is too small.

So go, check out their site get to know everyone on the team and give em some support for this adventure of a lifetime!





. . . . . and yeah, it's okay to be completely envious.

I'm not quite sure what prompted it but the other day I dreamt that Lynn and I were either engaged or getting married. We were haning out with a few friends and her ex. Not a whole lot happened in it but I remember this general feeling of being happy coming from everyone. Lynn had given me either a wedding ring or an engagement ring, it was simple gold band. It was attached to a gold chain, and I alternated between wearing on my finger and holding it up by the chain and playing with it. Mostly I remember just being happy to have it.

It was a strange dream to have though, I mean I woke feeling good, but Lynn was someone I'm not sure I ever would have even dated. Don't get me wrong, she looked great and marvelous curves on a slender figure. One night we had talked a little about it. I don't know what prompted the conversation but I knew even then that we weren't right for eachother. I remember the exact words of my explaination, I said "You're very sensitive and I can be very insensitive." She smiled and thanked me because according to her other people thought she was crazy.

To be honest it was a rather masterful dodge on my part, one of my best. The reality that I was hiding was the fact that while I liked her as a friend and found her very attractive, she was so emotionally immature that she could be a bit on the annoying side and it all would have turned out really bad. She could fly off the handle over things and I really didn't want to have to deal with that.

But for the rest of the day after the dream, it had put me in this sorta mood where I started thining and wondering about love and it's place in my life. I thought about what it would be like to go back to elementary school, you know be a kid again. I thought about what it would have been like if my first kiss would have been like if it had been then instead of years later. I never got to have that, you know that first truely innocent kiss from a girl I had a crush on. The way only kids could ever really have, something pure, sweet, and makes you blush like. . . well, a kid.

I had a lot of crushes back then too, I can even still name all of them. In order no less.

As adults we make it all so complicated and difficult when it really doesn't need to be that way. While I'm sure those childhood crushes rarely ever survive growing up, there's just something about them. . . about the way they felt. Like how getting to sit next to you crush on the bus totally makes your day, or how excited you get when the teacher pairs you off in groups for a project and you feel the smiles of the Fates when you get paired with your crush. Even if talking to her makes you nervous.

Those things just don't ever feel the same way again. Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty cool when you get to spend time with a crush. But that extra special feeling you get as a kid just isn't quite there, it's either dulled or gone altogether. Whether it's a good or a bad thing, I'm not sure. I just know that thinking back. . . I kinda miss it and wish (just a little) that when I had my first kiss, it had been when I felt like that.

Emotional State: Yuumao - Michishirube

( Read more... )

I've been feeling miserable since yesterday, I've had so little sleep all week it's not even funny. Yesterday I was too tired to eat or really focus much on anything. I figured that it would be better today since daylight saving ended and I would get an extra hour or rest. Plus I even went to bed earlier at like midnight (after setting the clock back). I didn't end up getting to sleep until nearly 3 only to be woken up at 7 by the dogs rampaging around and certain people wondering about as well. I stayed in bed until noon, but I'm fairly certain that I only managed 2 more hours the whole time. For all my effort, all I got was a head ache, for which I took excedrin. While a great headache treatment, is an AWFUL thing to do to an empty stomach.

I had a nice little plan for today, I was going to enjoy some lovely Blue Moon beer (similar to "Rickard's White" for you Canadians out there). Then read as many chapters of my 33 volume 'Oh My Goddess' collection as I could before days end (that's right, I said "Oh" and not "Ah", suck it!).

Sadly, I didn't get to reading until 2, and apparently I'm not even allowed to do THAT in peace. What's more, I'm so out of it and queesy that I've been drinking the same beer for nearly 4 hours!!!!

To top it off, the house is being cleaned. Not really a bad thing except that chemical cleaners don't agree with me, too much and it makes me sick, almost as bad. . . I can taste them just by breathing. Yuk!

The only time I ever use chemical cleaners is when I'm cleaning up the bathroom, any other time and it's just plain water. You know what? Plain water works pretty well and you don't have to worry about accidentally poisoning yourself or getting it in your eyes.

Unfortunatly I don't have a user pic for feeling sick, so I'll just go with Eruka and her big froggy eyes. I really need to up the amount of userpics I can have.

Today is officially a bust.

Emotional State: Chris Cornell - Ave Maria (. . .No, Seriously!)

Monday
Showers and thunderstorms. Locally heavy rainfall possible. Cooler. Highs in the upper 60s. Temperature steady or slowly falling in the afternoon. East winds 5 to 10 mph increasing to north 15 to 20 mph in the afternoon. Chance of rain 100 percent.

Monday Night
Cloudy with showers and thunderstorms likely before midnight...then partly cloudy with a slight chance of showers after midnight. Cooler. Lows in the upper 40s. Northwest winds 10 to 20 mph. Chance of rain 60 percent.



Add to that the fact that I will finally be watching teh first 5 episodes of Stargate Universe, and will be starting G Gundam (original language with subtitles). . .

Tomorrow is gonna be the BEST!

One of the things I've been having trouble understanding about writing, is Word Count. Mostly because I look at length in terms of number of pages, for me it is a much clearer way for me to detrmine my progress. Going by word count seems very unreliable to me, more so now that I've started to pay more atention to it. I'll show you an example:

Over at http://www.sterlingediting.com/ , writer/editor extraordinaire Nicola Griffith suggested an excersise for better dialogue writing. The challenge was to rewrite a snippet of dialogue and (as I understood it) convey character and story in less than 200 words. Now, if you look at what I wrote (10th from the top), I did it in 198 words. I have to admit that it was pretty hard, not becasue my skills are weak but because 200 words is a LOT less than it sounds.

So far this entry is at 156 words.

It has got me thinking a lot about the feasability of me actually writing a full book. Reading something like Chuck Sambuchino’s take on "Word Count for Novels and Children's Books" makes the idea of me actually writing and completing a book well within the realm of possibility. More than that, 100k-115k per book, are numbers that I am completely comfortable with. Especially with Agent Colleen Lindsay in apparent agreement. These aren't amature writers guessing at what is acceptible, these are people who KNOW.

A big part of my fear over actually doing a book was that they seemed soooo long. I wasn't sure I had it in me to write a book that would be long enough to reach industry standards. Currently my novella is at 36,605 or so words and I'm still not done. Thinking about it, I'm keeping the story pretty straight foreward, the character list small, and am actually holding back on details about the innerworkings of the story setting. In short I'm trying not to run long as I'm shooting for 40k and no more.

Keeping in mind that this story is done in first person, which is by far my weakest perspective to write from as it greatly limits all the things I can do. I originally thought that 200k would be the industry standard for books, but from what I've been reading that is waaaaaay over what editors and agents want. So cutting that in half takes a bit of the weight off my shoulders.

So basically I've gone from wanting to write books while secretly thinking that I could never do it, to wanting to write books and knowing that can totally do it. Granted I still have the feeling that I will be a chronic under-writer which will constantly cause my editor to get on my case and demand I write MORE instead of less. . . Comepleting a book no longer feels like a daunting task that makes me want to hide under the table. Doing this no longer feels like it's outside of my grasp. And that's just fine with me.

Final entry word count: 519 words.

See how easy that is?

Emotional State: Yūmao - Michishirube

Hospital forces lesbian to die alone

Link title pretty much says it all. I can't help but question the sanity of the world when not only is a person denied the chance to be with her partner when they need eachother most, not only are their children denied acess to their mother alive for one final moment, but the lawsuit that could have punished those responicible for such horrible treatment of a family in crisis ends up getting dismissed.

How is that even possible? To look at this situation and actually be able to tell this heartbroken family that what the hopsital did was perfectly okay. . . It's not, it's not okay. The hospital wasn't within it's rights to do that. If anything the rights of Janice Langbehn, her now deceased partner Lisa Pond, and THEIR children were completely trampled on.

I simply can't understand the reason why this family was treated so badly by people who's JOB it is to care for others.

All I really understand is that the hospital was WRONG.

U.S. District Judge Adalberto Jordan is WRONG.

A world that allows this to happen is WRONG.

A person that lets this happen is WRONG.

Shouldn't we as a people show the quality of our humanity and make things right? Change, if not the world, then ourselves so that something like this wont happen to another family.

If what I say isn't good enough, then perhaps the words of Janice Langbehn might help you understand whats wrong with the way things are now.

My network, my reach, is small. But maybe if I speak up, someone else will speak up too.

Kept meaning to put these up, but totaly forgot. . . for years. . .




Tell me if you notice anything odd about this stormtrooper.

So I was eating lobster and crab yesterday (a rarity I assure you), and I thought to myself "I'm basically eating giant bugs."

Which isn't too far off really, lobsters are related to grasshoppers. For some reason that made the whole experiance that much more enjoyable.

The world is kinda funny that way.

Try this NOT SAFE FOR WORK game:

http://www.zumanityhoops.com/

If you manage to get past the letter "i" let me know. That's where I keep losing.

Speaking of Zumanity, I soooooooooooooo wanna see that show. Someday I'm gonna have to get some people together for a trip to vegas. I'm not interested in teh gambling, but I really wanna see Zumanity, Crazy Horse, and Fuel Girls. Those are some HOT girls.

Last night there were a LOT of bats out. Somewhere around 5 or 6 flying about, I tried to catch a glimpse of em but couldn't. Though I could sure as hell hear them, the flapping wings and those constant squeeky calls they make. It was a lovely night.

I have a real love for animals that are traditionaly painted as evil. Spiders, snakes, wolves, bats. I think a large part of it is because I like not being afraid of things that frighten other people. Last night I got the idea to get a snake tattooed on my right palm, an a spider (with web) on my left. So far it's just an idea, but I'd like to see if I could come up with some good designs before I decide one way or the other.

Last night we had a hell of a thunderstorm. I woke up to the sound of thunder sometime around 2:30 or 3, Sophie my dog was nervously pacing around the place unsure of how to handle all the noise. One moment she would go into the bathroom, the next she would hide under the desk, then come up beside my bed, only to go back to hiding under the desk a moment later.

There was so much lightning that when I looked at the windows, it appeared as if someone had turned on a strobe light and left it outside, no joke it was that bad. There wasn't any rain either it was all lightning and thunder. So I got up and went to teh bathroom to brush my teeth and do various other morning functions. I opened the bathroom window to get a good look outside and check the conditions. There was just flash after flash from behind the low hanging clouds followed by some pretty damned loud thunder.

I hate calm clear (and especially sunny) weather, so I was enjoying this. I looked out the open window again to see several more flashes which was immeadiately accompanied by an explosion. There was no rumble, no crackling, just this horrid mix of frightening sound. It was like being inside a car when it crashes, an encyclopedia being dropped on the smooth floor of a vast empty room, a shotgun blast, and a sledge hammer smashing stone. All happening at the exact same moment right next to your head.

I had half a mind to run back out of the bathroom, grab Sophie, a blanket, and hide in the closet. It came out of nowhere. Then the rain began to fall, like someone had moved the house under waterfall. It was just crazy.

The power went out and the whole world was dark, sporadically lit by quarter second flashes of intense pure white light. Each time the backyard was lit, I was half expecting it to reveal some sort of nightmarish horror walking towards me, using the darkness to get closer and closer before that final burst of light showed me that it was just outside the window, inches from my face as I peered out.

The power came back on, but then it was knocked out again taking the cable with it, only to come back on again and leave teh cable behind. You know, I enjoyed it. The only drawback was that I was worried the thunder might be too loud for me to hear the movie I was watching. But it all worked out, and once dawn broke and the morning was still dark, I was happy.

As an aside, I dreamt that there was a whip scorpion loose in the house. I tried to catch it so I could put it outside, mostly becasue I was worried it might harm the dogs. But it ran into the closet and hid in some boxes. I wanted to find it, but didn't want to stick my hand in there to get it.

I'll do movie review tomorrow, right now I have one final episode of Deadliest Catch season 5. It's a really interesting show to watch, I love seeing it in marathons, especially during winter and it's all bleak outside.

The whole crab fishing deal is crazy, I don't know how those guys do it. It pays pretty damned good for the most part, but whenever I see it I know that I am so very much NOT cut out to work like that. I can't do 30+ hour days on an hour or less of sleep, I'd probably end up getting killed in an accident or get so tired that I would decide the sea might make a decent waterbed.

So I saw two movies in recent days. I'll try to go easy on the spoilers.

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

and

DRAG ME TO HELL

First Transformers. . . I have to say, I was realy disappointed. I get that it's a movie about vehicles that transform into giant living robots, but does it actually require that many characters who's sole purpose was comic relief? In the end all it ends up doing is making the premise that much harder to buy into and frankly most of those characters sucked anyway. The college roommate was a completely pointless character, he didn't do anything, didn't add anything, and the movie would have been much better without him.

The two autobot twins? Yeah, I can deffinately see how some people were offended by them. While I don't think it was intentional, it was a pretty stupid thing to do and whats more they were also completely pointless and brought nothing to the film. If anything they served to help bring down the quality.

They also brought back John Turturro's character (the previous movies comic relief) who, for me was the worst part of the first movie. Sadly, no he didn't die in this one either. John Turturro is a really good actor, this movie didn't give him the chance to show that off.

But I should mention that as far as comedic characters go, the only one that was actually any funny at all was Sam's mom. She was great and if it had just been her as the sole comic relief for the movie, then the film would have been A LOT better.

The movie really sets itself up for failure right from the beginning. You have the Sam character discovering a sliver of what remained from the All Spark as it falls out of his old sweater. He picks it up only to get downloaded with information then drop it, watch it burn a whole through the floor and turn kitchen appliances into mini Decepticons. As for why the All Spark only seems to EVER make Decepticons whenever it brings random machinery to life is never explained in either movie.

But I was actually cool with that, I like seeing blenders and toasters and microwaves turn into evil robots. Something about that just really clicks with me and it was fun. The problem was that inspite of having an Autobot in his fucking GARAGE, Sam doesn't tell anyone about the All Spark except for his girlfriend. Hey, I get that she is REALLY hot, but come on shouldn't he have told someone actually important? Then when he actually meets up with Optimus Prime later on he fails to mention it!

Oh and he also decides to leave Bumblebee behind as he goes off to College because Freshmen aren't allowed to have cars. Okay, freshmen not being allowed to have cars is fucking stupid for starters but beside the point. If you had an awesome hot ass car that transforms into a giant living robot and happens to be your FRIEND, would you leave it behind for any reason? So what if freshmen aren't allowed cars, it can look out after itself so you really needn't keep it on campus anyway.

Speaking of Bumblebee, apparently his voice box or whatever is broken. Correct me if I'm wrong (and I'm not) but didn't that get fixed in the last movie? I distinctly remember hearing him speak. Communicating using voice clips from various sources through his radio was clever and reasonably entertaining during the first movie, but this time it didn't just get old, it started out that way. I love his character, chances are he would have been more interesting if he had been able to speak this time around. In fact he could have taken the place of at least 3 useless characters that I can think of, which in turn probably would have cut down on the movies budget and helped make it a better film. This movie was packed with useless and stupid characters. Like the college professor, I seriously doubt there would be a line up of really hot girls who were not only attracted to this doofus but actually excited and turned on enough to WANT to eat the apple he dropped on his shoe.

No I'm not making that up.

When speaking to Optimus Prime who asks Sam for help, all Sam can do is go on about how he just wants to be 'normal' and refuses to help! He doesn't mention the All Spark or even that he is getting wierd visions and writing down a strange language. So apprently Sam is now not only stupid but an asshole as well. The whole 'I just want to be normal' bit if pretty fucking trite anyway. You know what? Teenage boys don't want to be normal, they want to be in the midst of cool shit and themselves be cool. Which goes double when they can be in the midst of cool shit that BLOWS UP.

I mean hell he still hasn't even told his HOT girlfriend that he loves her, if Sam wanted to be normal he would have done that the moment he landed the hot chick. I dare any sane person to land a girl that hot who knows how to work on cars, is willing to sleep with them, only wants to hear those three little words, and NOT tell her they love her after TWO fucking years! Hell I doubt any girl that hot would stick around that long with anyone not smart enough to say they love her.

But anyway. . . As for The Fallen, not really a villain worth naming the movie after. That's all I got to say about that.

The giant robot fights were always awesome, but that was about as much as the movie had going for it. There was plenty of action, but a decent story, and some intelligent characters would have gone a very very long way to making a great film. With two and a half hours to work with, you have to fail on an epic level to not have a decent story under score the kick ass giant robot fights.

You know, I LOVE Transformers, ever since I was a kid. I still have a few left from when I was younger, so I'm not someone who thinks the whole premise of transforming robots is stupid. In fact quite the opposite, but frankly this movie just wasn't all that good, and a movie of this type has to go seriously wrong for ME not to like it. I'm one of the few people on the planet who liked both THE PHANTOM and THE SHADOW, so I don't expect a whole lot.



DRAG ME TO HELL, this movie was. . . well, it was made by Sam Raimi so I guess I was expecting a lot more than it gave.

I love Raimi's Evil Dead series, Darkman, and of course I think his Spider-Man movies are just the best things ever. But this film really let me down. It wasn't scary at all, not even a little. What it WAS-was really gross, and most of that came from the sickly old gypsy woman. Not even funny gross, just gross gross. It seemed like every turn this movie took, it failed to be either funny or scary. Which is astounding to me as Raimi's work is usually so good.

Clearly influenced by the film The Haunting (1963), Raimi is just unwilling to let go of that directing style. Admitedly while it worked wonderfully in the EVIL DEAD series, it only felt like it worked against him in this movie. It's like he took what was good about the EVIL DEAD series, applied it to this movie, but either over commited to it or failed to commit enough. There just wasn't any middle ground here.

The attempted scares, most of them, were of the classic "Booo!" variety but with no pay off. That's unfortunate because Raimi, to me, is capable of delivering more than that. The comedic elements were often simply out of place, meaning where a scene could have been nail bittingly tense and scary, they were just stupid. The movie was cheesy when it could have been funny, and more often than not, gross when it could have been scary.

Though towards the end of the film, the movie was almost saved by the apperance of an angry talking goat. The moment I saw it, I thought "This is awesome!" because it reminded me of exactly how Raimi is so very capable of doing something which is completely off the wall and with the right mix of humor, horror, and totaly sell it. Of course it was gone a second later.

And the slight twist towards the end is predictable even before it happens.

As far as I know, I am in the minority of people who DIDN'T like this movie, which is both fine and a little weird. It's usually the other way for me. Of course you should make up your own mind, but just remember, I did warn you. Really, this is the only Raimi film I can think of that I haven't liked. I'm sure he'll do something better down the road.

There is nothing like a good English mystery. I don't know why, but they just seem to be able to write them so much better.

I've been watching Foyle's War and it's quite fantastic, more so because I rarely ever figure out who did it until after DCS Foyle explains it. I think in all the episodes I've seen so far I've only gotten it right once.

Watching it is sometimes frustrating because it seems like the upper class is made up of little more than a bunch of ass hats. I always want someone to sorta run across the screen and punch one of those pompous asses right in face. Some of these people are just unbelievable. How could so many people be THAT full of themselves?

Classes aside, the show really is fantastic. Setting it against the backdrop of WWII was a brilliant idea, it allows for many different kinds of mysteries involving all sorts of people. It also shows a bit what it was like for the English during the war, which is something americans don't really learn about in school. The main cast is fantastic and all the supporting roles are done very well. The best part I think is that each episode is about 90mins long, which allows for a very clean and thorough story.

The lead Detective Chief Superintendent Foyle, is just the best. Sharp mind, likeable, and easy to trust. He also has a speach pattern that is very precise, efficient, and to the point. In fact it's a little hard not to start talking like that after hearing it for hours and hours. It's rather catchy in it's own way.

Each episode is a good solid mystery, some things are familiar, some things aren't, and there aren't any shoot outs. It really is all clues and leads without any fancy lab work, which is great. I think the whole lab thing is cool and everything, but it seems like EVERY show is going that route now and it's nice to watch something where that is taken out of the equation. I like detectives who actually do detecting instead of fussing with beakers and gizmos. I love the look of the whole thing as well, the colours and styles are wonderful.

The country side is lovely too, it all appears very rich with trees and fields and all that good stuff. Not to mention the fact that I just love how women wore there hair back then, theres just something about it. . .

Unfortunately it's almost over, I've only got about 9 hours left of series. There is a final season of 3 episodes coming out, but I can't find any indication of an air date. So I'll just have to make do until then.

Though I'd like to go on record as saying I HATE Sgt. Milner's wife. What a rotten person she is. Which I suppose doesn't mean anything to anyone not familiar with the show.

So far I'm on season 4, the American's have just joined the war and are being stationed in Hastings. Which is sorta funny to watch in way because having spent MANY hours watching a show filled with nothing but the English, once the Americans showed up they couldn't have appeared more like outsiders and jerks if they tried. They are rude and obnoxious and I don't really like them at all. And I'm not even English.

I've got about 9 and a half hours of the show left to see, which is nice. I'm not quite sure what I will do once it's over though. Writing has been hard, which is no suprise as I expected as much. Mostly because I just can't jump into writing the moment something pops in my head or I feels like working on a scene, there are just too many disruptions. I'm working on it, but it's difficult. I'm thinking that now that I am awake all night I might be able to get back to it. I just wish it wasn't so damned hot.

I mean the sun is down, you would think the temp would drop low enough that I wouldn't be all hot and gross feeling. I mean really, what the hell?

I've really got to move up north.

Emotional State: Hayley Taylor - No More Wishing

So I watched seasons 3 and 4 of How I met You Mother, back to back. Which was awesome!

That's such a good show, I loved in season 4 how towards the middle of the season you could tell that both Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders were really pregnant and were trying to hide it. I was really worried that the real life pregnancies would be used on the show, but thankfully that didn't happen and the show is still on course.

What I thought was cool was that Alyson Hannigan's daughter was born the day after my last birthday. Just a little fun fact there.

So I'm watching the show and thinking "I'm such a Ted", which is weird but so very true. I'm totaly like that, except I have no game what-so-ever. I really dug how in season 4 he was talking about the expectations he had for himself of what his life would be like at 30. It was a little strange because I find myself in a similar situation and 30 is just about around the corner for me. It's scary to be close to it and see that things aren't going as planned.

Anyway, the whole Barney and Robin thing is fun to watch, especially since I've been in Barney's situation a few times. Whenever he heard of Robin having sex with some guy, I couldn't help but laugh at his reactions as well as myself at the same time. Cause I so know how that feels.

I must say, I wish I had a friend like Lily. This sweethearted diabolical pupeteering mastermind is just what my life is calling for. During the episode where Ted finds out all the times she broken up his relationships, I realized the true height of her awesomeness.

I think Ted/Robin has to be one of the better TV relationships I've seen in a long while. I kinda hope that at the end of the show, the girl he ends up marrying and having kids with ultimately died and he then ended up with Robin.

It's NOT going to happen that way, but I can wish can't I?

Some of the Neil Patrick Harris in-jokes were funny, like when he says that child actors of the 80's are better than the newer ones. Or how the end of one episode gives a really great laugh for anyone who watched Doogie Howser, M.D.

There was something else I watned to mention, but I can't remember what it was, so here's some randomness instead:

I finally saw the new Star Trek film last night. Probably a lot of spoilers ahead:

BEST

STAR TREK

EVER

I liked the way they rebooted everything and altered the history of the characters. You can do just about anything in a story with time travel. You know, I think Star Trek as a whole really needed this and I'm glad they got it. The movie was fun, exciting, had Winona Ryder in it, and made Sulu a bad ass. Not to mention, a RED SHIRT death. The moment I saw that guy all in red, I just knew.

Oh and what was the name a Uhura's roommate? Cause,Mmmmmm XD. It's probably something I'll have to discuss in therapy (if I went to therapy) but there is just something about a woman with green skin that just gets me all flushed, flustered, and . . . really horny.

Somday I'll write a story about a planet with a race of green skinned women as far as the eye can see. . . .

Anyway, on the subject of Uhura. . . her and Spock? Really? Okay, I'll admit, I thought the whole thing was a little wierd at first, but Quinto and Saldaña sold it. I think it was a good move to sorta put it out there, but not really make it a central element to the story. Sorta like saying "That's just the way it is.", so after my initial surprise, I was on board with the idea.

I like the whole alternate timeline deal, it allows future movies to go places with the 'original' crew and show them in a way that wasn't possible before. I doub't they'd do it, but I wouldn't mind a tv series based on this alternate timeline and set right around the same period. Cause this time period in the federations history was when everything looked so. . . cool.

I mean, doesn't ANYONE else miss the old uniforms of the female crew members? It can't just be me. The starfleet uniforms from NextGEN and the shows that followed really sucked! They were so boring, everyone worse pretty much the exact same thing. And quite frankly, those ladies looked goooooooooooood in the old uniforms.

Sorry, I keep meaning to talk about the movie but I end up coming back to women.

Oh right!

So they blew up Vulcan, which was awesome. Mostly because I didn't think they would actually do it, I kept thinking that somehow they would stop it and chase the bad guys away temporarily so that they might come up with a better plan.

Nope. They blew it up.

My only regret, is that it hadn't be done to the Klingon planet. . . or maybe they did? In any event I'm glad there were no Klingon's in this movie what so ever. Trekkies, you really need to get over it, Klingons are not that great. All you ever really get to see is a warrior class who just wants to shoot everything, its a wonder how thet managed interstellar travel at all!

But I digress. . .

As for the performances, all were in their own way, totaly awesome. As I already said, Sulu, badass. Quinto completely nailed the spirit of Spock and made him a more, accessible character. At least from where I sat, I thought I could identify with this Spock in some small way. Where as before it was mostly, Spock is cool XD

The new Kirk. . . he really starts out as an ass, but he makes you warm up to him. He's not doing Shatner's Kirk, he's doing his own, and we just have to see where he takes it. But so far, I don't think he or the writers will be taking the character to a deeper place than we have seen before.

McCoy, great. He got a good mixture of orneryness and loyal friendship that was classic to the character.

Uhura, I liked her, she seemed to have more personality and was damned hot, but as per usual the character had little to do. Apprently no matter what time period or timeline you are in, Communications is NOT where the action is.

Scotty was great, but we just didn't get enough of him. His character came in real late and to be honest, I didn't even notice that he wasn't on the ship until I saw him not being on the ship.

Chekov was good, I mean they certainly made him a bit more useful and intelligent than he was on the original show.

Finally there is the future Spock. Who, of course was great. Nimoy simply can't give a bad performance as Spock, it's just impossible. What I liked was that he was ultimately stuck back in time and is going to be helping the survivors of his race to rebuild. Which, considering he has some awesome future knowledge, shouldn't be too hard.

I'm looking forward to a sequel. I've heard complaints that the reboot is trading moral/political complexities for the "blow shit up" approach. But you know what, Trek fans have been given that for a long time. I think that right now, they should just enjoy watching shit blow up. After all, it's only the first movie. Lets see where it goes before we all start. . . .oh, who am I kidding? You guys are complaining already.

Monday, September 14, 2009

I had three dreams last night. In the first I was in a place I think was Stargate Command. There was a wide warehouse like space, with a fair number of soldiers gathered around. We had cornered several aliens capable of making themselves invisible. While they were effectively trapped, the problem remained, we couldn’t kill them because we couldn’t see them. Chances were that they were going to pick us off until they could escape. Both Colonel O’Neill and General Hammond looking around for the aliens.

Then I noticed that the invisibility cloak they were using fluctuated, I turned to my right where I saw the fluctuation and fired my Zat revealing two of the aliens. It turned out that, if hit, the Zat would briefly make them visible because the electric current could be seen rolling over them, but the cloak absorbed some of the energy preventing it from stunning them. I fired again, this time the cloak couldn’t absorb as much energy and made them sorta freeze in place for a second. I then used what appeared to be gun similar in style to an Uzi and fired two shots hitting and killing both.

Major Carter appeared from the hall way which was the only exit, with two boxes from the armory which tipped over and were emptied on to the floor. I rushed over wanting to pick up a P90. I grabbed two, but Teal’c took one of them. I went back towards the center of the room and looked for more of the aliens. I spotted another fluctuation near some scaffolding and fired my Zat again, I think I hit the metal but the current passed to another pair of aliens. I fired off one more shot from the gun and killed another. I think a group of soldiers killed the second once they were able to see it.

Now having the all clear, General Hammond approached me and started talking to me about a promotion I think and my own command. I suggest that we start up another site similar to Area 51, only this new one would actually be secure.



Wednesday, September 16, 2009

In this dream, I was in a large supermarket building which housed some kind of temple or device. I was with SG-1, I couldn’t tell if I was part of the team or not, but it kinda felt like I was. Apophis had shown up along with some reanimated mummy. He went with O’Neill and Carter to the back, I think he was trying to provide proof that he was (at least temporarily) on our side.

I stayed behind with Daniel and Teal’c. We were guarding the inside entrance to the rest of the building which was separated by a moat I think, or a very long drop. The only way across was a short wooden bridge, one that looked rather rickety to me. I don’t know how or why it occurred to me all of a sudden, but I knew that we were going to be under attack from the forces of Apophis. I turned to Daniel and said “Get me some nondairy creamer!” which on the surface probably seemed like a really weird thing to say, but nondairy creamer is flammable and I could use it to make a bomb and take out the bridge to keep an army of reanimated mummies from attacking us.

I told him what was going to happen and he got on the radio to Carter and told her what was up, apparently Apophis couldn’t hear the radio, I think she might have had a headset or something. Daniel didn’t and I could hear her end of the conversation, she sounded really unsure, almost like we were crazy, but she reluctantly agreed and decided to head back.

Then I woke up before anything else happened.

When I fell back asleep, the next dream I had involved me going to Russia. I went with this girl, I couldn’t be sure of her relation to me, but she was pretty and there was something about her that I both liked and found a touch annoying.

I don’t know what it was all about, but we along with a few others were headed to some sort of facility or prison. I think something had been stolen and we had to retrieve it or something. There was some sort of internal conflict within a small branch of the Russian military. The Russian government let me and the girl do what needed to be done, along with some of their men, while the government looked the other way.
On our way down the road, I could see the facility when all of a sudden there was shooting. We were under fire and I had no weapons. I can’t remember it all so clearly, but I managed to pick up a sniper rifle of a kind I was very unfamiliar with and then sidearm with a laser scope I think,. There were some death gliders in the air and I don’t know how we managed to deal with them.

At some point, we made it to the facility and met up with SG-1. I remember getting in another firefight some time later in desert like area with brittle rocks. We were, as far as I could tell, fighting other Russian soldiers. I killed one or two with the sidearm I had found earlier I think. I tried using the sniper rifle, but I couldn’t figure it out. When I thought I had a good shot, I took aim at the driver of troop transport vehicle only to find that the trigger wouldn’t budge. I figured that I might need to cock the rifle, but that wasn’t it, there was a side switch by my right hand thumb which moved up and down. I guessed that it might be the safety, it wasn’t. I loaded a different round seeing if that might work, nothing. The rifle was, at least from what I can remember, a weapon that worked for me sporadically at best.

We were next in a house, the large group of us, me, the girl, SG-1, the Russian soldiers helping us, and some locals from the small village we were in. We were looking for a guide to take us to our next destination. The girl decided to call my father and let him know what was going on in a very vague manner, I then decided to talk to him and told him about how we had been in 3 or 4 firefights so far and how there had even been death gliders. There was a long silence, I wanted to ask him about the sidearm I had gotten since I wasn’t sure of where it was made or anything like that. But when I put it on the table, our guide freaked out and got really angry.

Someone took it away, and I figured they were angry because I had taken it from a Russian soldier. I explained to them that it wasn’t from someone I had killed, which was a total lie, and that the person had already been dead when I took it. Someone, and old soldier of some authority, spoke up in Russian. Daniel who had been sitting near me at the end of the table casually translated saying “Would you want someone to steal your shoes when you were dead?”

So that was that, I had lost my sidearm, which was a really good one and the only weapon in my possession which I could use effectively. Though I was pretty close to having worked out how to operate the rifle correctly. At some point we learned that our guide, the guy who had freaked out, had used to be a part of some kind of super secret Russian black ops group. Their missions were so secret that all records of them had been burned, But the pay was bad so they had settled in this village to work as farmers. I hadn’t known this guy for very long, but I already hated him and the thought of him being around any longer.

I thought of the rifle left to me, it too had been taken from a dead Russian soldier. I spoke to the girl, unsure of what to do, I couldn’t lose another weapon because some asshole was overly sensitive.

Then at some point, I woke up.



Saturday, September 19, 2009

In this dream I was working at a brothel with some guy who’s face I can’t remember. One of the girls working there was Dr. Remy “13” from the show House. Henceforth known as Dr. 13. Anyway, one of the customers to come through the brothel was this guy who’s fantasy it was to walk into a room just jam packed with beautiful women dressed in skimpy outfits to some with no outfits at all. The plan was that he would be driven up to one of the outdoor rooms, get out then walk into the room open the door and there would be all these hot girls.
Whatever happened after that we didn’t get to see. But Dr. 13 swore me and the other guy to secrecy about the whole thing, I think part of it was that she was a little embarrassed that we got to see so much of her while she was wearing so little. I think another part that was things must have gone pretty far after that door was closed. But me and the other guy like Dr. 13 a lot as a friend and respected her enough to guard her secret.

Sometime later we were attending a co-ed football game which Dr. 13 was playing in along with Colonel Carter from the SGC. Apparently Dr. 13 worked at the SGC as well along with me and the other guy. Some offworlder showed up, a guest for some reason. I thought he was Jaffa since he and Teal’c seemed to know each other and were on somewhat friendly terms.

The offworlder came and sat near us and commented on the hotness of Dr. 13 and speculated on her sexual history. The secret almost came out cause he was thinking she was pretty tame but me and the other guy knew different, so we made allusions to how experienced she was without giving anything away. We were totally messing with the offworlder, never coming right out and saying anything but speaking in metaphors. The Colonel Carter sat next to us in her football ‘uniform’ which was a grey shirt with 01 on it and either pants or shorts. She then almost revealed too much about what happened the other night with Dr. 13 before I stopped her, she either forgot about the secret or didn’t realize it was supposed to be one.

That was when I figured that our work at the brothel was a cover for something else and that me and the other guy were part of the SGC. When Carter left, the offworlder started to speculate on why Carter’s number was 01, he guessed that it was because she was part of the SG-1 team. Which I guess was accurate, if not a little obvious.

About the time the game finished, we were still at the stadium and looking over a weapon Teal’c had brought to show us. It was a rifle staff weapon hybrid. The offworlder was holding it an sitting against the wall when he told us that we shouldn’t trust Teal’c and that he knew of the atrocities Teal’c had committed.

I told him that Teal’c had saved our lives countless times and then Carter chimed in telling the offworlder that he didn’t get to say who we could trust until he had saved our lives. She looked a little angry as she said it too. Just then ships started landing. I grabbed the rifle staff weapon hybrid and ran down the stairs and out the front and crouched down behind a pillar. Outside were alien ships I had never seen before, they were of mid-size and as they landed out poured these weird bearded little insect like creatures which ran towards us. There were many other soldiers positioned about, and all were firing at the alien leader who was sitting on some large shielded platform.

The rifle staff weapon hybrid performed pretty well, though it’s rate of fire wasn’t nearly as quick as I would have liked. But it was powerful, each blast killing at least one of the creatures with each shot. I found that the neck of the weapon could bend and allow me to fire around corners. I killed one of the creatures that way. But I couldn’t kill them all fast enough and was about to be overrun, I fell backwards and yell out “Teal’c!”

Teal’c who had taken up a position just behind me to my left, killed off the creatures that had nearly gotten me. I then got back up and continued the fight. I don’t remember what happened next, but I’d like to think we won. I mean come on, I was with SG-1, how could it have turned out any other way?

I really like my userpics of The Question, I like that through use of her I can be faceless. Which is how I feel sometimes. The lonely times.

I want to be moody and brood. I've heard that I am very good at brooding and that somehow manages to make me more attractive in someway. But I can't brood, I can't be moody cause to be or do either of those things, you need to have something. I don't.

I don't have anything right now, if I feel anything. . . it's empty, like a person without a face. I don't know why I feel so hollow, I just. . . it's like there is supposed to be something there but when I search for it I find nothing. As if I'm missing something that I used to have. It's weird in that I'm not used to apathy. I've got sympathy/empathy for others, I'll always have that and have it in spades, so much so that I often feel the pain of those who confide in me. I feel it in a very real, and sometimes draining, way.

I think of other peoples problems, they weigh on my heart and mind and I don't let it go until they do. It's weird but I've never really minded it, however hard it can be sometimes, there is just something about feeling anothers pain that gives you a deep understanding of why you should always avoid huring others. I don't think I would change it if I could.

That said. . .

I'm not feeling anything for myself, just this general sense that nothing really matters. I was thinking today, like I do, and I was saying how all I really have left to me is my writing. Which isn't so bad, it's just that I know the only way for me to ever experiance any kinda of significant relationship would be through the characters I write. Which probably seems really pathetic, but that's just the way it is. It's the lot I drew. For the rest of my life that's just how it's going to be. It's nothing new, I mean I've known that for years.

It didn't make me sad or bring me down, it just made me. . . it made me nothing. No high, no low, just this familiar old quiet acceptance. Like looking up and realizing there is a sky. It's just there, same as it was yesterday, same as it will be tomorrow, and every day of every year from here to eternity. It just is and that's all there is too it.

Makes me wonder if on the inside I look as empty as I feel. A life not shared with anyone, lived without love, a road traveled alone for everyday from this one until the last. I mean shouldn't that make me feel sad? Or angry? Or wronged? Or. . . something? Shouldn't I feel something about that?

Didn't get any writing done today.

Emotional State: Citizen Cope - Sideways

The family comes back tomorrow, I don't feel bad about hating that eventuality.

I am a little angry that I just couldn't manage to finish this story in the 5 weeks or so I had. Granted finshing it meant that I had to write at least one and a quarter pages a day and every day I didn't do that it only meant that I would have to write even more the next day.

I made good headway, but it just wasn't enough. It makes me worry about what it will mean when it comes time to do a book, if I can't finish something on a deadline then it doesn't speak well of my ability to accomplish a full book.

Still though, I will be trying to finish next week. But I want it on record that I was close, I didn't cross the finish line and place a medal winning time, but I am determined to finish the race anyway.

Tomorrow there will be no writing, but on monday it will resume. I mean come on, I ended today with a line that read "Then the leg twitched." Seriously, how could I NOT get back to writing that?

In other news, I had my fourth Stargate related dream last night. Come on, four in a week? That's just awesome. Sometimes my subconcious really gets into my fandoms.

For some reason, last night I got it into my head that I really wanted to dress up like the Grim Reaper, black cloak, skull mask, bone gloves, sythe, and then aimlessly wonder around a hospital or retirement home.

I get the weirdest urges sometimes. . .

Emotional State: Linkin Park - In The End

Your result for The Golden Compass Daemon Test...

Multi-Faceted Soul

Take The Golden Compass Daemon Test at HelloQuizzy

And that's the way it should be, it's exactly how I picture myself. I am not this or that, I am simply myself and how you percieve me is what I am to you.

I am a firm believer in the idea that it is best to be like water, fluid and yielding in normal circumstances, cold hard ice as firm as stone when needed, or if heated up too far becoming scaldring steam as deadly as any fire but able to return to what it was once the heat had died down.

That's how I view life and my place in it, I like that I don't have to be confined to being any one thing. I think peace is worthwhile, but I believe in war. I think life is infinately valuable, but I believe in capital punishment.

I'm like that about a great many things and it's not because I enjoy being contrary or am wish washy or finniky. But because I understand that life is simple not so simple that one single stance, belief, or view point is valid for all instances. I think that the world grows and evolves as we live on and that we must grow and evolve along with it.

I treat all my friends differently because they are each different people and I'm willing to bet that each sees me differently than the other.

This view on life and myself is often seen in my dreams where I frequently change age, gender, and species. I think an ideal world would be one where I could be a shapeshifter, allowed to change to any form and hold it for as long as I want without any measurable effort or concentration. It would be like breathing or a heart beat.

That said, I would soooooo love a daemon of my own. I sure could use the company XD

FINALLY my character figured it out! That in and of itself is a pretty nice feeling, I've been trying to get this guy to this spot since last winter.

I think it actually turned out better than I had planned. This guys smart. And I got to write violence! Oh I wrote such violence and I enjoyed it in all it's bloody glory! And not one wise ass remark from my hero, not a single one. Cause there wasn't anything funny or cool about it and that's the way it should be.

I did about 2 and a half pages yesterday. Unfortunately because of certain people walking in and out of my personal "writing cave" I didn't get anything done today, but I will try to make up for that tomorrow. Currently my character is running home and when he gets there he needs to find his wife doing. . . . I don't know. Which sucks, she has to be doing something and that something must both be in character, logical, and fit within the rest of the story. After this he will go after the criminals and the end game will begin and hopefully end a few pages later.

I can see the light, the end is in sight!! Once it's over I shall run headlong into the sea scented arms of my sailing story and the character I have been aching to write. A lovely bright eyed, silver haired, young girl who isn't big on adventure but is about to get one anyway.

You may or may not remember this woman and the visit I got from her a while back. I haven't seen her since, but I wonder if she will come back once I've finished and take my manuscript to my editor like she had intended. It's been so long since she showed up that I've had some distance from the encounter, and I kinda wouldn't mind seeing her again. I'd like to see what happens when she finds my work is finished. Maybe she'll be less scarey?

I am currently at 34,688 words. That's not too bad I should be able to finish it up before I hit the 40k mark and leaving me well within what the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America have defined as novella length (the only real guide line I have found). It even gives me a considerable buffer for adding in and reworking various elements during editing.

So, go me.

Thankfully these past three days the muses did visit, put out, and we are all currently catching our breaths. No it's not you, I made it sound dirty on purpose.

When I get to that ending image I will be very happy, I can already tell, it'll be like coming up for air after a very deep dive. I just need to figure out what the hell his wife is doing when he gets home.

I'm such and idiot, I forgot what time it was there. She's going to be asleep, duh!

Emotional State: Charlotte Church - The Flower Duet

Now that I've got your attention here is an entry jam-packed with reasons why I'm awesome:

Should I ever get married, I totaly want this to be the wedding cake: ( Read more... )

So I knocked out about 3 pages yesterday, which is cool. Bring my 3 day total to 5 pages.I have roughly about 12 pages left I think. Suddenly it seems like 12 pages might be a little short considering some of the things I want to do with the remainder of the story. But you never know, I may end up only needing 6 or 10 to finish. I'll just let it be as long as it needs. Not to mention that once I finish and make a second pass through to add themes and set some stuff up better, I might end up adding a few pages. 3 pages and my character still hasn't figured out that big clue, that's a good thing though since it means I might be able to sqeeze a page or a half page more out of this scene. After that it's a mad dash to the finish line for him. I've got today and tomorrow to do this, if not then I'll try and finish it next week, assuming that my families return doesn't crush my creativity as it normally does. . . .

In other news, I've been thinking about what I would like written on my tomb stone once I've died. I want it to be something really good, so that when people read it they're like "Whoah!" Here are a few of the one's I've come up with so far:

I wish I had gone to more orgies

It's dark in here

It's getting musty

Let me out

I swear I didn't know she was married

I see you

These worms tickle

I've placed a curse on you

My wife packed my parachute

I wish I had a shovel

Avenge me

Back in 5

Pay attention to traffic lights

If you can read this you're smarter than my doctor

I shouldn't have tried the egg salad


Seriously, one of these or something close is going up on the tomb stone, I'm writing it in my will.

This week I've had three seperate dreams set in the Stargate SG-1 universe because I'm such a huge geek for that show, I was totaly apart of SG-1. Well okay, so I may not have actually been on the team in two of those dreams, but all of SG-1 was there, O'Neill, Carter, Teal'C and Daniel. Which rocked, I actually got to talk with Daniel Jackson, my favourite character on the show. He translated something someone said to me in Russian, Oh an he totaly trusted me when I had a strange thought that we were going to be over-run by reanimated mummies and that we had to blow up the bridge, even though I had no proof. It always rocks when I dream of shows or games I love.

The Steel Closet did an interesting-funny-and lovely bit titled 5 reasons why Felicia Day rules the internet. I must admit, that's some pretty sound reasoning. Also season 3 episode 3 of The Guild is posted up on her blog, so feel free to check it out. Codex's opening web casts are the best part of every episode, she's so damned funny. Makes you wonder why it's so hard to meet a girl like that. . .

A random comment I made yesterday reminded me of one of my favourite monologues in the whole history of forever. I saw it on an episode of The Kids In The Hall way back when and never ever forgot about it. I had posted the transcript of it a while back, but it finally dawned on me to do a video search this morning. So here is Dave Foley telling us why he has a good attitude towards menstruation:



Personally, I think this should be required viewing in every health class. XD

I'm just sayin'.

So I managed about a page yesterday, it may not sound like much but to be honest I didn't think I would be able to do even that. I was pretty much drawing up a blank and was a little frustrated, but thanks to the timely intervention of Andrea, I got over myself and just went and pushed through. A little encouragement can go a long way.

So like I was saying, I only did about a page, but that was mostly due to a time constraint. I had a short window to write and a lot of words to put down. That one page was important because it gave me momentum which was something I have been lacking these past few days. Really since last week. Now I've got some momentum and am in the middle of a confrontation and that's great. This is the first time since I started writing this story that I got to write a phsyical confrontaion and those are always fun for me. I get to picture fights and how to win them, which is something I do almost every day anyway. The hard part is making it difficult for the hero to win but not making it so hard that they appear to be a complete wuss.

I have a rough idea of how this is going to play out, the fight is almost over anyway. With it being a novella, I really can't stretch it out too much. It's been fun to do especially since this whole story so far has been about figuring out the mystery and finding the murderer, with a lot of talk, and clues, and puzzle pieces. It's nice to be able to shake things up with some physical action.

Once it's over, then my hero will have put it all together, discover the largest piece of the puzzle and then be well on his way to the final confrontation. I have a nice ending image in mind and I really want to be able to write it, letting the story end on a strong note. By my guess, I have a good 15 pages or so left to do. Hopefully I can knock out almost half of them before it's time to call it a day.

In other news, I did some research for my sailing story today by following stories of real life events that are similar in nature. It's really helpful to hear people talk about what was going through their minds in survival situations and their descriptions of the people who didn't make it and how they handled things. Outside of being in a situation like that, first hand accounts are the best resource.

Next up I'll need to do more research on fishing vessals from the preindustrial era. I also need to figure out how to sabotage the ships watermaker and their food supply. Doing both in a believable manner will require some serious thought. I also need to figure out how it will end, does the ship make it back to shore? Is it found by another ship? Right now I just don't know, but I have the ending image for that story already. I just need to plot a course to get there.

Emotional State: Charlotte Martin - Everytime It Rains

I did about a page yesterday, which isn't so bad I guess. I mean it's better than nothing. I would really like to do more, but I keep finding that things aren't flowing as well as they should. When I write, I need that first line. Once I have that, then I can get a bit of a rythym going. So far it's still a struggle. I need a day like I had a few weeks ago, when I did a solid number of pages in one sitting.

I don't know why this is so hard, I have my story plotted out and know whats coming, but for some reason getting there has become difficult. I'm sticking with it though, despite it feeling a lot like work. I just need to finish this one so I can move on to the next. It's just driving me crazy that I'm having to work so hard on something which should be considerably easier for me. I'm not thinking too much about major themes and ideas or stuff like that, I figure I'll just take care of that after I make a second pass through, so I don't get why I'm having such a hard time.

I know the story I want to tell, but writing it is a lot like swiming against the current. Today I'm really not feeling it, which worries me with concern for progress. Still though, I've got my file open and am hoping something might come to mind. Next up is the central confrontation in which my character figures it all out. It's important and should be much easier than it has been so far. When it comes to this story I'm seeing that what "Should be" and "What is" are fairly different.

I'm increasingly worried that I'm just not going to finish on time. Which will suck. It's not the end of the world and I'll still be able to continue writing it, just not as freely as I have been so far.

Right now, I sure could use an "Ah Ha!" moment to get me through the next few pages of this thing.

Emotional State: Pete Yorn - All At Once (Its a really good song)

Finally saw "The Messengers", it wasn't too bad. Though not too scarey either. Kristen Stewart is so GORGEOUS it's crimminal.

Gonna try and get some more writing done today, I'm running out of time fast and it's really putting the pressure on. I'm good under pressure when it's like reacting to avoid a car wreck or thinking clearly to avoid a fight or preform some first aid. When it comes to being creative under pressure. . . I don't fair so well. But I'll just try and manage. Just sit in front of this screen, staring at what I've done so far and try to come up with what comes next.

Had a few odd dreams, three in a single night, though it might have been four and I just forgot one. But the other three were. . . I had another dream about running like a dog, which is always interesting. To date, those types of dreams are the only ones that reoccur, and even then it's just the running part, everything else is always different. There has to be some kind of meaning and I'm certain it's not one which can be found in any book. Maybe someday I'll figure it out. Maybe they just happen because I like how it feels, some people dream of flying, I dream of running on all fours. Oh and this time I was moving so fast I was able to run on the side of walls. How cool is that?

It just occured to me today that there was some specific research I could do for my sailing story. I'm glad I realized it, hopefully it will come in handy when it's time to tackle that story. I also began thinking that in order to do that story the way I want to, I am going to have to get over some hang ups and not worry so much about what other more conservative type people might think. I'm just going to have to do it the way I want and just focus on making it as good as I can.

Now you know how much I HATE musicals. I've always found the style of them to be sorta weird, to sudden;y burst out into song and whatnot. But Joss Whedon has the unique ability to write musicals that I actually enjoy. I finally got around to seeing "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog", it was fucking awesome. No joke. The songs were funny and catchy, as were the moments in between the songs. It was really good stuff, and the end! Oh don't even get me started on the end. I didn't expect that at all. And I'm not talking about the Liz Vassey cameo.

Speaking of cameos, Marti Noxon and David Fury were great.

Anyway, if you haven't seen it and have about 40 mins to spare, here it is:



Everybody should watch this. Come on, it stars Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day. I love those guys !!

Emotional State: Pete Yorn - All At Once

Don't let anyone tell you that wishes arent granted. Yesterday thanks to the divine intervention of a recipt and year long warranty, the airconditioner was replaced. I may not know how to repair them, but instalation is pretty easy. This place is now nice and cool. Though this new airconditioner is making some odd noises. I'm hoping that by ignoring it they will go away and nothing bad will happen.

I managed to write a little more yesterday, nothing special just a few paragraphs. I can't remember the last time I struggled so hard to finish a story. . . which is probably cause I don't think I ever have. This is a really tough one. I'll try and write a little more if possible, though I spent a fair portion of yesterday staring at the screen trying to think up the next sentance. I dunno, maybe I'll have some moment of brilliance and finish up the whole story inside of a day. . . yeah right!

I'm just hoping I will come up with something. . . .

Spent some of this morning watching Felicia Day's show titled The Guild, a brilliant web series she writes, stars in, and co-produces about MMORPGers. It's pretty damned funny and is on it's third season. Everyone should deffinately check it out, especialy gamers who don't mind laughing at themselves.

There is also a music video staring the cast which is total WIN:

I am making a big wish for the airconditioner to be replaced today. I've spent two days sleeping in this heat and haven't managed to get all that much rest.

Tried writing again and managed one more paragraph, I'm finding that I don't have as clear a picture of the events to follow as I would like. I know where he is going and he will be getting there in one more paragraph, but I'm trying to think of how I can prevent him from hearing a conversation which would pretty much explain everything. I don't want him to have it that easy, especially not now. He's been playing catch up from the start of the story, this is his moment to figure it all out on his own and show that he's got the detective skills needed to justify him being the lead.

I know how he'll figure it out, what I need is a way to keep others from explaining it to him. I need to have him plausibly delayed just long enough for the bad guys to get away, in fact their escape is crucial to the end of the story. I need to do some serious thinking.

Speaking of which, I'm suddenly unsure of the ending. Do I allow him to kill the killer? Or do as I originally planed and have him let the killer go without realizing his mistake until the end? I wonder if in the situation I have set up, would he actually kill this person?

I'm asking myself what I would do in the same situation, and the truth is I don't really know. I've put him in a tough spot, an impossible one actually where he has no good options. Which is great, but ultimately tough on the both of us. Currently I am nit picking at my story under the clever guise of 'editing' hoping that while doing this, something will click in my brain and I will find some way to move forward with the story and finish it up in time.

More and more I'm looking forward to my sailing story, it's so much more straight forward.

1 week left. . .

I am cautiously hoping that the airconditioner will be replaced sometime this weekend. I really really need it to be replaced this weekend. . .

In spite of my current predicement, I did take the time to try and write a little. I managed one paragraph. Yep, a whole paragraph. Honestly its a little hard to concentrate, I got a lousy amount of sleep, I'm currently burning up, and I'm also attempting to back up whats left on my own computer before it reaches the point where it gives in to a permanent death.

I started to get this little nagging feeling somewhere inside my brain that suggest I should just quit. Really, I could quit writing and just. . . find something else. I'm wracking my brain trying to finish this thing, and coming up empty. I'm stuck in the oven of a guest house while trying to write about a place which is now covered in snow. It all just seemed so silly. I mean, it's not like I'm getting paid for this, I haven't gotten paid to write anything in two years! Now I'm so broke it's not even funny, I can afford at best a 3 packs of cigarettes and 1 meal at Jack in the box. Once I finish, I wont be any richer. The creative side of my brain is acting like some stubborn child, ploping herself down, crossing her arms, scrunching up her face, and reffusing to do anything whenever I open up my files to start writing.

It's a thankless process. The laptop is burning hot as I type making the whole thing that much more uncomfortable. I'm tired, feeling crappy, and just so frustrated. I want to quit, it seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do.

But. . . I like it too much I suppose. What I love most about writing is coming up with characters. See these people in my head, how they dress, how they speak, their strengths, weaknesses, loves, and motivations. I like writing these people into existence. More often than not I come up with stories only after thinking up the characters. I love characters, I love writing them, it's just something I have to do.

I can do this, I know it. I just need my brain to quit fighting me and just do it.

Emotional State: Dubstar - Stars

Because someone somewhere decided that life without adversity isn't interesting or worthwhile, my airconditioner has suddenly broken down.

Here I am set to write with just a little over a week left in my window of opportunity and this has to go and happen. If you don't already know, I hate the heat, hell you can't spell heat without using the same letters from hate. For clarification, I am to the heat what a cold blooded reptile is to the cold. I embody a new and quite emphatic deffinition of the word 'lethargic' when I find myself in hot weather.

So I put off writing and mustered all my resolve to finding out what went wrong with this crap machine and set about attempting to repair it. Naturally, after examining and disassembling the damned thing, I came to the conclusion that I haven't the slightest idea of how to go about it.

So a lot of wasted effort, and thankfully no spare parts once peiced back together, I am very tired and just about passed my bedtime.

If that wasn't enough, my computer suddenly crapped out on me. Not the laptop I'm using now, but MY computer, the one which I use in conjunction with this one while I write. Not surprisingly, I have no idea whats wrong with it either or even how to go about fixing it. It just sorta made a pained whinning noise and waited for me to put it out of all our missery.

So I'm currently angry, frustrated, and really tired. I actually found myself having to refrain from yelling at my dog who felt the need to get in my way every time I tried to go somewhere. I really wanted to just snap, which made me feel like complete shit because she only wants to play. Thankfully patience won out over temper.

But the big problem now is this: this place gets insanely hot without an airconditioner and computers don't like heat, so I'm afraid of running the laptop for too long. Which really sucks because it is my only of writing, not to mention my only source of entertainment. Really, from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to sleep I am on the computer, either watching something, reading something, or writing something. Having to limit that is going to be tough.

Oh and did I mentioned I had a horrible dream where someone took a blowtorch to my eye and struck the other one with something sharp? Come to think of it, I should have taken that as a clue as to how my day would turn out.

I am so screwed.

The prediction for today is rain. For now the sun is gone and the clouds are out. That's exactly how I like it, lets hope it continues.

I found that I was putting a little too much pressure on myself to complete this story and it wasn't all that helpful. So I decided to take a little break yesterday and not really worry about it. I feel much better and should be getting back to writing later tonight. In my rush to get done I probably made it harder on myself to actually finish. I still have a week and a half left to complete the story and I'm fairly confident that it is enough time. Though it seems that future stories might end up getting put on hold. . . maybe. I'll see how I feel once everyone gets back and things return to the obnoxious crappy state they usually are.

I've been thinking that I may set the next stories during summer. It's going to take a long time for this city to feel the weather cooling and I really don't want to be writing about winter while it's so damned hot outside. For this current story things are set just as winter begins, because of this heat I've been forgetting to mention the cold cause I haven't been feeling it.

Funny thing, while this story still as of yet lacks a title, I managed to come up with a title for another story. "The Name Of Mercy"

It's funny because I suck with titles, I've never been good at coming up with them for some reason. But the title for this new story just popped into my head and felt right, mostly becasue it was preceded by the final sentance of the story itself. I wanted to do a character which was different from the others that I have been planning. The other leads are, for the most part, people who are able and willing to kill. I wanted to do a character who was the opposite of that. Not a pacifist really, but a soldier type of character who doesn't feel the need or want to kill if given a better option. Even if it might be at the cost of her career and status. More importantly, even if it might get her locked up.

It is, due to the nature of most entertainment, easy to write a character who will kill and be cool and all that. It's a bit harder to write a character with a little more depth, for lack of a better word. Someone trained to fight and kill and will do so if it must be done, but someone who is also willing to risk a lot to save a P.O.W. who quite likely will be killed simply for being the enemy.

I've got the basics of who I want her to be, this sort of academic scholar who is in the early stages of her countries mandatory military service. Someone who is, because of her previous station, be trained as a knight or something close enough to it. So really, someone who does have a lot to lose for making the choice she is going to.

I can only guess as to why, but I really want to do a story about the nature of mercy. What it is, why we do it, what it costs us, and what it gives in return. I certainly hope I'm up to it, cause I'm kinda unsure as to the answers myself, but perhaps in writing this story I just might find some. If she comes out well and I do it right, I am considering doing a trillogy with this character. Which is saying a lot because she was originally intended to be a character in a side plot involving the girl from my sailing story somewhere down the road. She'll still be that, but I'm hoping I can make her into more once I get my skills up to par when it comes time to actually do these books.

I'm starting to think that chances are I just might have to start working on the books here under these. . . well, quite shitty conditions. I've made it a plan to finish these short stories and novellas before I start the books, but I had kinda hoped that my situation might have improved before it came time for the books. Since it hasn't, and probably wont until I start selling some work, I think I'll just have to bit the bullet and do them anyway. Hopefully I'll have improved my skills enough for me to manage it. Quite frankly, even just doing short stories here is a bit difficult. I can't expect conditions to change on their own, so I'm just gonna have to change to adapt to the conditions.

For the record, I really hate change. I hate it with a passion.

I'm predicting that I am going to be deleriously happy once I finish thist story so that I can start giving other ones the attention they diserve. I really need to work out a lot of various plot lines and characters. I know I've mentioned it before, but all the characters I'm using for these short stories are all going to be characters that will appear in the books I've been planning. Some, like the girl in my sailing story, will be main characters. Others like the character in my current novella will be secondray characters. But in addition to building my skills, these short stories and novellas are intended to help me build a rich history for all the future work. Through these stories I'm getting to know who these characters are, I can discover things about them that I didn't know or had even condsidered before.

For example, in the novella I'm doing, I never knew that my main character had issues with his father. I discovered that while writing him. I'm also learning about the legal system he is a part of and the frightening amount of power he actually has. Power that if abused could get people to turn on him real quick and he often forces himself to do things the hard way so that the people of the town he is supposed to protect will trust him. He is in a possition where he is the one who arrests you and is then the judge at your trial and finally the person who cuts your head off when you're found guilty. It's kinda scary as it obviously allows for some considerable injustice by less honorable people. Someone with power like that has to really work hard not just to earn, but also to maintain peoples trust.

I'm quite pleased with how many of the secondary characters have turned out, one in particular who has earned herself a much more significant role in the next story set in this particular town. I can't wait till I do her introduction for that story, hell I'm anxious to see how everyone has grown and changed once this one is over.

As I write more and more, I can clearly see myself getting better and how I tell the stories. By varying characters, points of views, plots, and deliveries I should have a pretty decent bag of tricks and tools by the time I tackle those books. Until then I just have to keep challenging myself and pushing the limits of my creativity.

Through all that however, I doubt my spelling will ever improve. But hey, you take what you can get right?

Since I'm on the subject of writing, Nicola Griffith and her partner Kelley Eskridge have put up a website titled Sterling Editing. As the name suggests, they are offering editing services for "short stories, novels, essays, articles, memoir, plays... Just about everything". It seems like something which will be very worthwhile for writers in need of a little help.

The Writing Mentor Program and the Developmental Editing sounds TO DIE FOR. When I'm ready, I'd like to make use of those services.

Emotional State: credence clearwater revival - have you ever seen the rain